Washing the Body

The first time she lied,
he gripped her delicate fetlocks
sniffed between her legs and
doused her down with Pine-Scented
Lysol Disinfectant Cleaner.

The second time,
(after practicing on a trunk load of Texas Grapefruit)
he chased her into the kitchen,
pressed her crown against the floor
performed a two-fisted Transorbital Lobotomy.
Still she wouldn’t hang true.

Feed the auger into the hole
until there is no resistance,
turn the auger clockwise and withdraw.
Repeat until it drains.
Send her home in a Yellow Cab.

The third time meant three
feet of Swanson’s Deluxe Garden Hose and
Sears Sheer Nylon Panties in the slant
lights (he found her endless and yes, melting pure).
He always wanted to live by a Man-Made Lake.

Drape the body over the Ironman
Resista-Stability Ball,
place the hands on the floor,
bend both elbows and raise the legs,
turn the toes out.

Once it was just a Sinus Headache
now she burns
Energy Star Compact Fluorescent Lights
during the day, turns off the wipers when it rains,
refuses to wash.

(First Published in "Wicked Alice")